16 Reasons Not to Start Riding a Bike (in Croatia)
Here’s a (slightly modified) translation of a funny list about reasons not to start riding a bicycle that our Croatian readers quite liked. We made it since such lists became sort of a fad in Croatia, and we wanted to poke fun at them. Here goes:
1. Depending on the season, to most destinations you will arrive breathless, sweaty, sunburned, crumpled, muddy or wet.
2. You will be chased by dogs, cats, wild boars and traffic cops.
3. You will get soaked by the rain. Often.
4. Your tires will be punctured. All the time.
5. You will fall off your bike. Into tram tracks, pits, ditches and elsewhere.
6. Your butt will hurt from riding the bike during the first month. After the first month, it’ll hurt even more.
7. No one famous rides a bike. That’s a myth.
8. A helmet will keep your head safe, but will ruin your hair.
9. Sooner or later, your bike will be stolen (regardless of three locks, electric wiring and video surveillance).
10. Wheels will fall out of your forks, spokes from your wheels, and brake handles and handlebars will stay in your hands.
11. The wind will blow your cap/hat/nylons under the wheels of a moving truck.
12. Flies will get into your eyes, flys into your mouth, and pigeons into your spokes.
13. Your iPhone will continue moving after your bike has stopped.
14. You will brake hard with the front brake.
15. Besides the bike itself, you must have a pump, lock(s), light, batteries for the light, patches, spare tubes/tires, bags, saddlebags, helmet, gloves, reflective vest, tools, snake antivenom, first aid kit, nerves of steel and four dozen other items.
16. If you are not going to ride a bike, there’ll be more space for us.
(Satire: BikeMyDay; Photo: Da Internets)
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